Vatikun And Vampir
by Metronomeblue
Summary: ON HIATUS! Alu/OC/OC When a mysterious vampire attacks Hellsing, Threat of war becomes real, and all three organizations search for an elusive Vampire girl who holds the one key to victory's gates... And the key to Alucard's heart as well. Please review.
1. Vatican and, Wait, Cake?

AUTORESS'S NOTE: So, this will be an Alu/Oc fic, [I warned you.] and some Anderson/Oc, like below, and som- oh, wait, TWO OCS! sorry, just to make it clear, 'cuz, y'know, there's a, *gasp*, Love Triangle[Hint, Hint] but not that one. Ooops....Sorry XO Natsu-Tan

"I hate collection jobs. Anderson, can you do it? I'll trade you for a laundry shift." Sparrow Bernadette was a negotiator. She could sweet-talk anyone, and then convince them to do the exact opposite of what she had just told them to do. It also helped that she was very pretty. She had long wavy hair the color of finished mahogany, and eyes that were the color of Caribbean water. Alexander Anderson smiled. He was a Scottish priest, so what came out of his mouth wasn't always intelligible, but Sparrow had a talent for accents and disguise as well as persuasion, so she at least, could understand him.

"Aye, Ih'll Trayde wit' yoo, boot yoo'll 'ave to add a slice o' chiffan cayke to at." Anderson's circular glasses reflected Sparrow's exasperated expression. Anderson had taken quite a fancy to her cooking, which only added to the amount of work she had to accomplish at The Vatican, and also irritated her beyond mention. Strawberry cake was also a favorite of her employer, so an extra slice wouldn't be toooo hard........ Ah well, at least you don't have to round up communists, She reminded herself. Maybe she'd make a whole extra cake to take to her brother, Pip. Yes, the 'famous' leader of The Wild Geese was Sparrow's brother, and foremost priority outside of the Vatican. And, cake seemed to be popular, so...... Why not?

"Yeah, Yeah..." She replied dazedly, waving her hand, still clutching a few haphazard papers, at him as she walked forward. "Vanilla too? Nah, it'll just be easier to make four strawberry.... Anderson, could you tell Abrielle that I'm making cake? I'll just make extra while I'm at it." She turned the corridor, and walked, still in her own head, up the wooden stairs.  
"Collection, ayh? Noo Woonder yur weeling too make cayke." Anderson's mutter, thankfully, didn't travel up the stairs. As he shook his head bemusedly after her, he smiled oddly. "Abrielle ayh? Sheell be glahd."

"CAKE? You persuaded HER to make strawberry chiffon cake? You?" The brown-haired french girl was on a ladder, hammering nails into a wall, to hang paintings and such on.  
"Ayeh. Ae did, but ain aexchange fer Collection Dootyes."This stopped Abrielle in her tracks. She jumped off the ladder, landing perfectly of course, and pulled out the bible she carried everywhere, and began running her thumb along the edge of the corner. Anderson knew this habit well. All three, Abrielle, Sparrow, and Anderson, were good friends, but of them all, Abrielle was, not only the quietest, but also the strongest believer, and also the most nervous.  
"But, does that mean that she's.......with them?" Within the Vatican, they referred to Pip and the other Wild Geese as "them".  
"Maebe, boot Ae think wae shuld wayt, 'boot taem shae spaynt taeme wit' 'er bruther.."

Sooo, too short? Tell me! I crave reviews!  
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!  
Natsu-Tan


	2. Food Fights and Foreshadowing

Light snow Falls Hitting my cheeks to replace The tears that won't fall.  
These eyes see only the darkness of this world.  
The light I cannot see Shines down on others,  
But never me.  
For the light Is what I shine,  
And I cannot see who it shines upon.  
Not me.  
For I must continue.  
"It was just after sundown that the incident happened. A young girl, around sixteen, was out by one of the less used wells, drawing clean water, that she was heard screaming. By the time they got to her, though, there was no one there. And the strangest part is what the authorities found in the well." Integra stated solemnly.  
"What did they find?" Alucard was only semi-interested. He seemed rather bored these last few days.  
"They searched the entire area, but all that they could find was a white scarf pinned to the wall with a dagger, and one other, thing....." Integra seemed sickened by what she was about to say. "What other thing?" Alucard was now rather more interested.  
"The well itself. The well was filled, not with clean water, but with..... w-with.." Integra was most reluctant to say the last few words. "The well, was filled, w-with blood." Even Alucard was shocked by this revelation. "And, the scarf is very significant. You may want to wake up, Alucard. This will be important." The tone of her voice was cold, and as sad as could be. "The scarf was the girl's, and on each end was the insignia of a 'Crimson Camellia'." Alucard was frozen. Seras' brow was furrowed. "Sir Integra?"  
"Yes, Seras?"  
"Why is Master so shocked by those words?" Integra removed her spectacles. She sighed sadly, but the sigh was filled by exhaustion as much as sadness.  
"Well Seras, you may want to look carefully, because I will show this to you and- is that..Cake.? Sparrow's cake!" integra's chair creaked back and Integra set off at lightning speed towards the basement, leaving Seras, Walter, and Alucard with mouths hanging open.  
Meanwhile, in the basement....

"Ah! Cake!"  
"NOT YET! Don't eat it with your hands!" Sparrow shouted, snatching the chiffon cake off the small wooden table. She was currently attempting to keep her stupid brother from eating the whole cake with his bare hands. "There's got to be some left! Sir Integra likes cake as well, so you must not eat the entire cake! Damn brother." This last part she muttered sulkily, slicing the peachy cake with an engraved silver knife.  
"Did I smell strawberry chiffon cake?" Integra walked in, sniffing the air. Following her was Walter, who seemed to be anxious about the strange behavior that was going around.  
"Um, Milady Integra. And yes, it is." Pip once again tried to snatch a chunk of cake, but only succeeded in falling over. Sparrow bowed at the waist, nimbly dodging Pips flying arms. "Cake, again?" Seras walked in, she seemed to have been following Walter, who had been following Integra, who had been smelling cake.  
"Yeah, a friend of mine wanted some. We traded duties..... Again. I think I was supposed to catch a communist, but Abrielle was able to do that..... Once she smelled cake...... Oh!" Sparrow swirled around and said to Integra, "I have, incidentally, who is 'well' versed in poisons and potions, so I'm afraid that my hand, just slipped over Sir Maxwell's cake....." Both Seras and Sparrow burst out laughing, imagining Maxwell sleeping over his paperwork... "He'll kill us tomorrow, but if Abrielle can get pictures, it'll all be worth it." She smiled.  
"Abrielle? Interesting name." Integra was constantly puzzled by this girl. She was at once serious, and yet overly mischievous and childish.  
"Mmmm, yeah, it means "God is my sword" or something like that... Oddly enough, it fits her. She's french as well. And, since we work at Iscariot....HEY!" Sparrow set down the cake and smashed Pip's head with a spatula to stop him from instantly eating it all.  
"Argh-munmphgrgd? Spargghwo ghto tfher fgh meinb." Pip mumbled from beneath her spatula. [Translates to: Ow. What was that for? Sparrow, get this thing off of me]  
"Not 'til you promise not to eat the whole thing!"  
"Nevgahg!" And thus, Pip began a food war.... "Wah!" Integra dodging and running, "Jolly good to have an old battle every now and then!" Walter deftly tossing things, "What have you allowed my brother to do?" ... and Sparrow whacking Seras happily with a spoon. Pip was attempting to reach the cake, and everyone was laughing gleefully.  
"What in the name of Hell happened in he-*Splach*!" Alucard walked in on this scene, and promptly was hit in the face with a glob of raspberry jam that was propelled expertly at his eye by Walter.  
"Hahahaha! Come on, Walter, is that the best you can do!? Come on, Pip!" Seras laughed and threw a spoonful of peas at the french mercenary.  
"MAINTENANT vous demandez lui Pip!! Lancez le scones!" Sparrow dived back into her French ancestry to mount an attack.  
"AHA! Mais vous, mon amie, n'avez pas mon expertise dans l'art de la consommation parmi le ciel et la terre!" Pip stood up and caught every pea in his mouth, not missing a single one, and also dodging the scones as though he had seen all of them.  
"Um, yeah. I really don't know what to say about this, but Walter, your aim sucks." Alucard was simply standing there and staring at the edible warfare commencing between Pip and Walter, who were stationed in the northwest corner of the kitchen, behind the canned foods cupboard, And Seras, Sparrow, and Integra, who was breaking character for once and having fun. The girls were winning.  
The men were losing.  
Badly.  
So of course Alucard had to join the losing side.  
And the food battle went on all day and well into the night when all the staff at Hellsing decided to join in.  
"Hm. How nice." A young girl, around Seventeen, stood silhouetted against the rooftops, watching with distant eyes the scene in the kitchen. She smiled, her gleaming white teeth showing against the dark sky. Her eyes were a vicious red, her canines elongated and sharp, and from her hand dangled a Nazi flag. A vampire stared down at the warfare at Hellsing, plotting her next kill. End Chapter Two.

Kay, so I've gotten into the habit of writing the characters, and here are a few translation notes:  
Maintenant vous demandez lui Pip! Lancez le scones! : Translates to: Now you're asking for it Pip! Launch the scones!  
Mais vous, mon amie, n'avez pas mon expertise dans l'art de la consommation parmi le ciel et la terre! : Translates to:  
But you, my friend, do not have my expert testimony in the Art Of Consumption among the Earth and the Sky!  
Abrielle's name: Translates to: God Is My Strength [Thanks to for names]  
Basement and Kitchen: The basement, in book one, is supposed to have a wizardry analysis room, dissecting chamber, prison, library, biology centre, and holding cell. In my AU, The Biology Centre was converted into a kitchen when Hellsing was *coughs* "redecorated" *coughs, I doubt it coughs* by Alucard when he "woke up" and decided to "stretch".

Crimson Camellia- I cannot reveal the significance, but I received the idea[!!!!] from the music video "Crimson Camellia", by Megurine Luka]  
Thanks SOOOO much for reading my fanfics, LURVE, ;P Natsu-Tan XD [CHAPTER TWO, PLEASE REVIEW!!! I've made it to chapter two!!!] 


	3. Massacres And More Cake

Sparrow Bernadette was impossible. She was utterly impossible. She had no sense, no sanity, and no qualms whatsoever about blood and gore. Interestingly enough, though, Alexander Anderson was her best friend. He was the picture of reservation. He was polite, somewhat sane, and seemed to be quite normal most of the time.... Too bad that nobody realized how well-matched the two of them were, because if they had, there may have been a lot less of the chaos, and a lot more of the normal... Too bad, because now Maxwell is REALLY mad...

"Oooops...... But I guess it doesn't matter, though? As long as it tastes good. Really Father Anderson, how do you do it?" The klutzy novice smiled shyly at the tall priest.

"Ae, eits seympley aey matther aof keypeing wone's haends staell. Yae'll bae aybel ta du ait tu, Novaice Mains." Anderson's cake was perfectly iced, and Cassidy's was a bloody mess, although.... Compared to Sparrow's, both of theirs looked rather terrible, as hers was decorated haphazardly, but beautifully, with wildflowers, birds, and "snow" made of frosting and sugar. "Sparrow? Haow ain the naeme of Iscariot, did you manaege tae maek thate?" Both Anderson and Cassidy, frankly would be surprised if Sparrow had managed to bake the cake at all, let alone this work of art.

"Me? I learned from me mum." Sparrow twirled the spatula and smacked Cassidy on the head with it at the same time. "Mum was a right old chef. She used to bake chiffon cake every Sunday. Lovely, 't was, with all the strawberries and cream..... Ah, but my brother! Now he, would burn anything under his nose as soon as he set eyes on it." She walked off the stepstool and set her cake by theirs.

"Yer mum?" Anderson smiled. "Waell, Ae'd lake to taest a bat of 'at meself!" Sparrow frowned and smacked Anderson as well.

"Don' make fun of me cooking! I can ye know!" She then stuck her nose in the air.

Anderson's eyes opened wide. It had been quite some time since he had dreamt about the past. And why that memory? 'Ah, well....' He thought, 'It'll be a long day. Best get as much time in as possible.'

"Well, well, well. Sir Hellsing, might I be right?" It was cataclysmic. None of their soldiers had stood a chance. She had blazed through every trap, incapacitated every man, and had even left Seras and Walter tied to chairs. She was an odd vampire, to be sure. She had long teal-blue hair and blood-red eyes that were partially covered by her hair. She wore her hair up in two ponytails, one on either side of her head. On her waist rested a military-grade radio, and her shirt was pinned with upside down crosses. Her short pleated skirt was ebony black and was splashed with red paint and blood. Her madness rivaled Alucard's. "See, I thought that this might be more of a challenge, but I s'pose that one cannot deny one's mission." She smiled pityingly at Integra, who was currently standing tall, with her shoulders thrown back and her eyes set determinedly. "Stand aside. I do not want to kill any more than I must, but believe me, I will if I must."

"Ey. You. You with the blue. You...." Alucard walked calmly in front of Integra. "You, just threatened my master. Now, if you really were a child, the situation would be different, but as it is.... Who are you?"

"Meeeee? I, I am......" The blue-haired specter's face split into an evilly-fashioned grin,"I, am your, enemy. That is all you need to know about me. My name is irrelevant. And you shall not hear my intent, either."

"Or doooo they? I mean, reallly? Hey Anderson! Your fighting friend is here! Mein freund, Anderson, sin sie ein komplettes und fulles schwachsinnig. Really." Sparrow Bernadette had arrived to help. And even better, she brought friends. Leveling her long, thin, spine of a sword on her right shoulder, she smiled happily at her friends. "Let us begin."

"Oh yes. that we shall." The blue-haired girl seemed to know Sparrow. "After all, you, Mein junger freund, should know that you cannot live this out." Sparrow simply tilted her head quickly, and leaped in to the air....

End Chapter Three.

Sooo, I'm revealing a bit more of the story line.... Please review, because I might not keep going if nnobody likes my stuff enough to tell what's wrong with it.... PLEASEEEE!  
Hopeful,  
Natsumi-Tan 


	4. An Odd And Confusing Conclusion

"Oh yes, that we shall, because mein junger freund... You of all people should know that you cannot live through this."

"Perhaps. ANDERSOOOOON! You! Over here! NOW!" Sparrow was still smiling serenely at the blue-haired specter, but she was shouting at Anderson as though her life depended on it. "I am going to stop her."

"Haah... Ha... Haha...HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN BEAT ME! YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT YOU, YOU CAN BEAT, LET ALONE STOP US? STOP MILLENNIUM?" The mere laughter that poured from her lips was paralyzing. Her mention of Millennium caused both Integra and Alucard to turn and look at her.

"Oh, blahgh, blagh, blaggghhhh! Puh-leaseeee. I've dealt with others, but you have to be THE most pathetic pacifist I've ever seen. You tie people to chairs with other victims' HAIR. How evilly pacifistic can you get?" Sparrow was unimpressed and mad. Never ever a good combination. Plus, it wasn't helping that Anderson was currently decapitated as well, or that she had a bottle of vodka, [untouched] by her hand. Alucard raised both eyebrows amazingly high, and even Integra had an "Ohhh Shit." expression. Of course, it isn't very often that you see redheaded nuns downing vodka like it's water in the middle of aiding their organization's mortal enemy organization, in the middle of a war zone. Of course, it isn't very often you see nuns aiding their organization's mortal enemy organization, in the middle of a war zone, either.

"Sparrow. Allow me." A small deep brunette stepped in front of the now-drunk Sparrow and raised her right arm, which was holding a long, thin, silver throwing dagger, much like Anderson's bayonets, but slightly more... Compact, and elegant. Alucard and Walter's eyes began to widen in admiration of these nuns.

"Phaweet-wuhooo... Now that is a pret-ty knife, there." Sparrow commented. The brunette smiled, her pale skin seeming translucent in the white moonlight.

"Well, Miss Cairson, it has been some time. Have you gotten over your fears?" At these words, Anderson and Sparrow inhaled nervously, but the brunette simply smiled. "Blood frightens you terribly doesn't it? Rather odd, I must say, for a va-" But what the brunette was, Hellsing's crew never found out, because suddenly a long, silver throwing dagger, much like Anderson's bayonets, was piercing the Vampire's hand, and the brunette had flashed to a position behind her in the moonlight.

"Blood? I can deal, if it means you're..." The brunette, who was smiling madly and innocently, had wrenched back the specter-esque vampire's head using her hair. The long blue strands that clung to drops of blood had seemed darker and more unreal than ever. "Dead, and I'm free of you."

"Abrielle! Stop." Sparrow was staring grimly up at the brunette. Instead of halting, however, Abrielle simply let go and kicked her leg out, toppling the nameless minion by upsetting the balance of the left leg's ankle. In result, the blue-haired vamp had been knocked down and out, and Abrielle resolutely walked over her body and continued back to Sparrow's level.

"Mmm? Sparrow?" Abrielle smiled oddly again, giving Sparrow a small chill.

"You! WAIT! We aren't finished here!" Abrielle stopped dead still and turned sarcastically, saying:

"What? Do you need some painkillers? Some Aspirin? Or do you want to be 'Finished-off'?" The specter was shocked. "Live. Or I'll get fired." She turned. "Live, Ada Venn, live on and betray your deepest secrets."

"Yes?" The specter stood. "Will I now? I'll live on... Because I have to?" Abrielle smiled and only replied.

"Yep." She turned around again. Anderson smiled as though this had happened many times before, while Sparrow reacted by putting her right hand up to her eyes and laughing sarcastically.

"Abri, we still have to take her in for interrogation. And you." Sparrow said sharply, pointing angrily at the vamp. "You have to learn the rules of the game to break 'em. It ain't possible to break rules you don't know." She then bent down slightly and handcuffed blue-hair. Securely.

"Don't trust me? Well..." The Specter, or as Abrielle adressed her, Ada Venn, twisted her hands above her head as she stood up, and locked her arms around Sparrow's neck. "Good. Because I should NEVER be trusted. By anyone." She pulled harder at the handcuffs.

"Sparrow!" Anderson reached for a bayonet, but Abrielle once again stopped her friend.

"Tch. And I thought that Anderson was hard to control... Sparrow. Don't you dare move. Like meditation." Sparrow raised her throwing knife, and ever so carefully wrapped the blade with a borrowed piece of Walter's wire, and threw it gently at Sparrow and Ada, stabbing Sparrow between veins and coasting muscles and missing bones, but stabbing Ada through the central edge of her undead heart, killing her instantly. "FONT FACE="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"SPAN LANG="zh-CN"神が許す彼女/SPAN/FONT. May she go to the other side in peace." Muttered Abrielle.

"Thanks Abri. Gimme a sec... Ah." Sparrow cleanly removed the knife from her right side, and stood up. "..Stupid vamp. Them nozzies need a tan." Alucard snorted with laughter.

"And us Buffies need some better glasses. Honestly, I nearly killed you as well. I really need some glasses that fit, so I can use them." Abrielle seemed to loosen up and she and Sparrow walked out, bloodstained and battered, but cheerfully chatting on eyesight options.

"They really need to give me more solo missions." Anderson sighed, following them off into the night.

~~~~~~~H~~E~~L~~L~~S~~I~~N~~G~~~~V~~A~~T~~I~~C~~A~~N~~~~~~~

"WTF? How THE HELL do they EXPECT ME to CLEAN UP SUCH A MES!" Walter sighed. It had been a very long day for everyone, and the poor janitor was being forced to clean up the very very very large mess that Ada Venn had caused by destroying and killing so many people. "Walter, I think that we'll need more bleach than we have right now. Please?" She turned towards him pleadingly and he sighed again. She did have to do it alone...

"Of course. Which way?"  



End file.
